------- waddafak: 02/05/2006 - 02/12/2006

Thursday, February 09, 2006

The Sexy Woman

A sexy woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gesture’s alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.

She seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caresses his full beard. "Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no," he replied.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him,"she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running herforefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of herfingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.

"Tell him," she whispered, "there's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

In Memory of Meow

These morning's I was expecting Meow to be calling out as usual and am very sad to see that she is definately gone. I regret not spending more time with her lately, save for the usual tickles behind her ear whenever she comes to rub herself against my leg. I will miss you Meow.
In Fond Memory of

December 2003 – February 2006

I came home that rainy night
And had myself a good fright
Instead of you rubbing on my leg
You were in the belly of the snake


Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Ignore This

Negativity is a cancer that appears in many forms. Ridicule, guilt, prejudice, condescension, intimidation, and self-doubt are only a few of the ways negativity manifests itself. While some kinds of negativity come from within and cannot be easily controlled, most are caused by other people. I believe that everyone is entitled to rid themselves of these negative people in order to enjoy happier lives.

As teenagers, we often accept negative people into our lives because we are insecure and afraid of becoming the object of their wrath. We feel safer if we have them on our team. Also, we are intimidated because negative people seem to wield power. Indeed, the ability to disturb another person’s day, week, or life is a form of power.

Nowadays, we feel that we are mature enough to avoid such malignant influences in our lives. However, not all negative people are as overtly mean as they were in middle school. More common are people that merely reflect negativity, like the girl who insists on informing you anytime someone speaks badly about you, or the guy who only acts nice to you when you're alone with him. These people, while not affirmatively attacking you, are quietly chipping away at your mood and self-esteem; thus, they should be removed from your life.

How do you decide who to expel? What if a long-term friend, or even a parent, is the source of negativity that is causing you to be anxious or unhappy? How can we really avoid those who have permanent places in our lives?

To help answer this question, try to detach yourself from the world of the everyday and look at things in a larger sense. As human beings, we are given the freedom to hand-pick people that contribute to our well being and enrich our lives. We are not physically bound to anyone, and many of the people we interact with every day were not even our choices, but rather the product of our environments. We have no obligation to remain loyal to those who affect us adversely unless we place little value on our happiness.

Certainly, there are situations where it is difficult to implement this philosophy of purifying your social circle. Obligations must be filled. But I urge you to examine those obligations very carefully; compare the benefit you receive from them to the amount of negativity they bring into your life each day. Remember that you deserve to be happy, and you only get one chance to do so. The older you get, the harder it is to recognize and rid yourself of the sentiments that have set into your mind. Don't let negative people interfere with your most precious natural gift: the capacity to love life.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Python Night

Will you look at that? I was looking out of my window last night after coming back from a late supper and had a fright! For a moment I thought it was my pet python.

But it was not thankfully! Rushing downstairs and running back up again to get my camera, I managed to get a shot of it slithering down the roof. I noticed the bulge and was wondering what was with its belly?

Running off again to look for a *cough* weapon to arm myself (i was in a slight state of panic) I came back only to discover the python was gone! A search for my cat Meow, has turned up fruitless and i am rather sad for its untimely and unglamorous demise. Maybe it was not her? *fingerscrossed*

So it seems that a snake does move fast even when its had its fill of pussy, and this was my excitement for the night which turned sad when i could not find my cat Meow.


Sunday, February 05, 2006

Richest South East Asians

I found myself reading Forbes 2004 list of South East Asia's Richest People. What did i see? Not only a heck of a lot of dollar signs, absolutely. But also a lot of Chinese names.

It has always been a common complaint of anti-Chinese bigots throughout South East Asia about how the greedy Chinese accumulate their wealth at the expense of "locals" and "natives". Let me just make one point. The Chinese have been in South East Asia for centuries. The mere fact that their cultural motherland is elsewhere does not make them any less "South East Asian".

You think Thais just popped up on the banks of the Chao Phraya suddenly, one day long ago? Or that Malays simply appeared on the shores of the Melaka Straits? If you're going to get into a discussion about who is more "native" by virtue of the length that their ethnic group has been in the region, then perhaps the Negritos are perhaps the only real South East Asians. Everyone else? Well, sorry, you're just another immigrant.

So here is the theory behind why the Chinese seem to dominate so much of South East Asian business.

One. The Chinese got a head start. All newborn babies are born equally vulnerable and impressionable. So perhaps Chinese babies get a head start because more of them grew up amongst people in business, in an atmosphere of hard work and enterprise? After all, the China of the 13th, 14th and 15th centuries was one of the world's great military and commercial powers. The various kingdoms of South East Asia, for all their impressive development, had nothing on the scale of the great merchant classes of China's trading cities.

Two. South East Asia tended to attract the hard-working Chinese. One would presume that the person who bothers to make the tricky sea journey from the coast of southern China to the various nations of South East Asia in search of a new life is likely to possess the very attributes to help them succeed. If you were lazy and unambitious, why bother? You don't tend to see many lazy migrants - the sacrifices they have made give them the greatest incentive to succeed.

Three. The former European colonial masters found it most useful to use the Chinese as their agents. They got them to do the dirty work like collect the taxes. They did their business with the Chinese. They implicitly trusted the Chinese more because they knew they formed a minority and could thereby have no political aspirations of their own (think Indians in the African colonies of the British Empire or further back, the Jews of western Europe). The Dutch in the East Indies (now Indonesia) were masters of this strategy. After all, why empower the major ethnic groups like the Malays or Javanese by making them wealthy and influential? This was a lesson that former Indonesian dictator Suharto learnt very well. His most favored cronies were Chinese - there were no way men like Lim Sioe Liong or Bob Hasan could ever challenge him politically.

Accidents of history and a sense of being very much different from others - probably the main reasons why the Chinese have come to dominate so much of South East Asia's commerce.

My Stinky Boots

These are my stinky boots.
And I just love 'em.

The Chinese Zodiac

I was going through some blogs and noticed that some were talking about the year of the dog and such. But there was hardly anything behind how the twelve animals of the zodiac come about?

Because it is based on the lunar calendar, the Chinese New Year falls between January 21 and February 19. The calendar follows a cycle of twelve years. According to Chinese legend, the twelve animals of the zodiac were selected by the Jade Emperor after he invited all the animals to participate in a race. At the conclusion of the race, a year was named after each of the twelve winners.

Since then, people have looked to the zodiac to understand their personalities. It is believed that a person shares many characteristics with the animal that rules his birth year, and to a lesser extent, characteristics of the animals immediately on either side of that year.

This is the story of that race, the legend of how the Chinese Calender came to be. It is also the story of Cat and Rat and why they will always be enemies.

In China, a long, long and long time ago, there lived a Cat and a Rat. They were best friends. They ate together. They played together. They slept together. One day, the Emperor decided to hold a race among all the animals in the land. The first twelve animals to cross the finish line would have a year in the Chinese calendar named after them. This would be quite an honor. "But winning the race will not be easy," warned the Emperor. "You must run through the thickest part of the forest and then swim across the river at its widest point."

Cat and Rat each wanted to be the first to cross the finish line. But they knew that they would be two of the smallest animals in the race. "We will never make it," Rat complained to Cat.

"Oh, I think we will," replied the resourceful Cat.

"We'll ask the Water Buffalo to help us," said the cat. "He could give us a head start. He always wakes up before sunrise. Maybe we could even ride on his back."

So Cat and Rat convinced Buffalo to wake them up early on the day of the race. The next morning, Buffalo was up long before dawn. "Wake up lazybones," he said to the sleeping Cat and Rat. "We had better get started."
Cat and Rat climbed on the buffalo's back. But they were so sleepy that by the time they had fully awakened, they were half way across the river.

Rat woke up first. He saw the Emperor standing at the finish line far, far away. Why should I share the glory of first place with Cat and Buffalo?, thought the Rat selfishly.

"Wake up, my friend," he cried to Cat. "Look at all the tasty fish swimming in the water."

Cat licked her lips. She leaned over for a closer look, and Rat gave her a little push. SPLASH! She tumbled into the water.

Buffalo turned his head to see what had made the splash. He didn't see the Cat, though. What he saw instead were the other animals in the race -- and they were close behind him. Without giving Cat or Rat another thought, he sped toward the Emperor.

Just as Buffalo neared the riverbank, the clever Rat leaped from behind his ear and crossed the finish line in first place.

"How did such a small animal win the race?" asked the Emperor in surprise.

"I may be small but I am also smart," replied the Rat. He scampered up onto the winner's podium. Buffalo knew he had been tricked into second place, but he could only grunt in dismay.

Back in the river, Cat tried to swim along with the other animals. She hated water. But if she had to swim in it to win the race, she would do so.

Far ahead of her, Tiger came roaring across the finish line. "Am I first?" he growled.

"No," said the rat smugly. You'd have to be awfully clever to beat me."

"And you'd have to get up extra early to beat me," added the Buffalo.

Cat scrambled onto a log. She paused to shake herself off and to catch her breath.

By then the sky was dark and a great storm was blowing. A Dragon appeared in the clouds above. He was much, much too big to run through woods or swim across a river, so the Emperor had told him he could race through the sky, braving the rains and the wind.

But no sooner had he begun his descent to the earth, than the Rabbit darted across the finish line in front of him, taking fourth place. The Dragon had to be content with fifth.

In the river, the Cat heaved a great sigh, and then plunged into the water again. "I can still make it," she told herself. But Snake slithered across the finish line next and hissed a silvery greeting to the five animals that had arrived before him. Snake was number six.

Cat swam as fast as she could. A few moments later, she heard the sound of galloping hooves in the distance. Horse thundered across the finish line in seventh place.

Goat and Monkey weren't far behind. They jumped onto the log on which Cat had rested and paddled across the finish line almost at the same time. But Goat beat Monkey by a hair.

While the nine winners waited patiently with the Emperor, Cat watched Rooster struggle toward the finish line. Dog could easily have swum ahead of Rooster, but she couldn't resist playing in the water for just a few minutes longer.

"Number ten!" called the Emperor as Rooster staggered in. "Number eleven!" he cried when Dog arrived.

"Who will be number twelve?" asked the Emperor. "I need just one more animal."

"Me! I will!" called Cat, and she swam even faster. Unfortunately for Cat, Pig rushed across the finish line in front of her.

"Number twelve!" cried the Emperor, but Cat was still too far away.

"Congratulations to all the winners!" said the Emperor. "One of the twelve years will be named after each of you."

Suddenly, up rushed Cat. She was tired and wet and more than a little unhappy about swimming across the river on her own. "How did I do?" she asked anxiously. "Am I one of the winners?"

"Sorry, my dear Cat," replied the Emperor. "All twelve places have been filled."

Upon hearing this news, Cat let out a yowl and tried to pounce on Rat. Her claws scratched the tip of his tail, but Rat squeezed under the Emperor's chair just in time. And that is why, to this very day, Cat and Rat are enemies.

So now you know how the Chinese Calender came about and The Twelve animals (十二生肖 shí'èr shēngxiào, or colloquially 十二屬相 shí'èr shǔxiāng) representing the twelve in order, the rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, sheep (or goat), monkey, rooster, dog, and pig.

Streamyx Sucks