------- waddafak: You So Farny-lah

Monday, January 30, 2006

You So Farny-lah

I was just starting to feel the effects of one too many screwdrivers. Man, nothing beats a lazy afternoon, the company of good friends and a couple of good stiff drinks. Afterall it was Chinese New Year and maybe I would get to brush up on my rusty hokkien but bugger, everyone was talking in English. Oh well.

My conversation with Nick stopped short in its tracks. From the front door came a shrill chorus of screams and consequent fit of giggles as Nick’s little sister was welcoming her girlfriends. Damn it. We stood up as the obligatory ‘Hello, Happy New Year’ handshakes/greetings/smiles went in full circle. This is getting a bit tiresome.

Settling back we resumed on with our conversation. We could hear the chatterings going on from those visitors. ‘E si lu eh hia eh peng ew si bor?’ ‘Ta lok lai a ang mo?’ ‘E si chi peng chor kang r si chor seng lee?’ ‘Lu masi kong you ai angmo eh boyflein si bor?’

Nick was trying to keep a straight face as we both listen in trying to not laugh. Leaning towards me he said ‘Dude if only they knew you spoke hokkien ‘ ‘Yeah’ I replied smiling as Nick grabs my glass and wanders off to make another screwdriver.

Nick’s sister comes over and says ‘My friend wants to know you’. Before I can even a blink the friend is already there taking over Nick’s seat. I swear she must have felt the leftover heat from Nick’s bum.

Cute Girl – Hello
Me – Hello
Cute Girl – My name is Ah Yen
Me – Good to know *likeigiveashit*
Cute Girl – Excuse me?
Me – You are excused
Cute Girl – I don’t understand
Me – Yes, it is a mystery
Cute Girl - *confusedlook*
Me - *feelinglikeanarse* Listen? I was just playing with you
Cute Girl - *giggles* You so farny-lah
Me – and you are amusing
Cute Girl – Where you from?
Me – Kuching
Cute Girl – Is it?
Nick – Dude, your drink
Me – Thanks mate. Cheers.
Nick – I will be in the kitchen if you need me *winks*
Me – Get your arse back here
Nick - *chuckling* No-lah. Don’t like disturbing love birds
Me - *chuckling* Piss off then
Cute Girl – Why you 2 laughing?
Me – It’s a private joke thingy
Cute Girl – Oh I see
Me – *enjoyssippingcoldscrewdriver*
Cute Girl – So how come you angmo?
Me – I think its something to do with my genes?
Cute Girl – Genes?
Me – Yes. Genes.
Cute Girl – So how come got angmo from Kuching?
Me – How come got Chinese from Kuching?
Cute Girl – I mean
Me – *feelinglikeanarseagain* I was raised in Kuching mostly
Cute Girl – Oh I see. Your parents angmo?
Me – Nope
Cute Girl – So your mother angmo?
Me – Nope
Cute Girl – You father is it?
Me – Nope
Cute Girl - *blurlook*
Me – *feelinglikestranglingher* It’s a long story
Cute Girl – Tell me lah.
Me – Believe me. It’s a very long story.
Cute Girl – So you working here or holiday?
Me – I am here and there. Never feel on holiday here.
Cute Girl – Why?
Me – Why what?
Cute Girl – Why you not feel holiday here?
Me – Because its my home town
Cute Girl – So where are you actually from? I never see you mar
Me – from Kuching
Cute Girl – I mean where exactly. Which country?
Me – Where what?
Cute Girl – I mean is. I mean is like you are American?
Me – Nope. I hold Malaysian passport
Cute Girl - *reallypuzzledlook* True Meh?
Me – Why? Got reason to bluff you?
Cute Girl – Cannot be.
Me – Up to you to decide if I am lying
Cute Girl – How long will you be here?
Me – At least for a few weeks
Cute Girl – Then?
Me – Then?
Cute Girl – Then where you go?
Me – Most probably to Indonesia
Cute Girl – Do what there?
Me – Got some work there to get done
Cute Girl – You work as what?
Me – My job? Find money
Cute Girl – I want job like yours *laughslikesodamnfunny*
Me - *smilespolitely*
Cute Girl – How long you go there?
Me – *shrugs* At least for a week. Maybe 2. Dunno yet
Cute Girl – *cheekysmile* Can I follow?
Me – Sure. As long as your promise to be my sex slave
Cute Girl - *breaksoutintoanotherfitoflaughter* You so farnylah
Me – You haven’t seen me when I am drunk and belly dance naked
Cute Girl – Are you drunk now?
Me – Hardly but I am a bit poofed
Cute Girl – Poofed?
Me – Yep. Tired. Too much drink, Little sleep past 2 nights
Cute Girl – Wah. Enjoy is it?
Nick – Dude, Desmond called
Me – What does the wanker want?
Nick – Wants us to go over and play bandak
Me - *perks* Yeah, been a while, why not?
Nick – I call him say we going over or you too busy now? *sostupidgrin*
Me – Piss off. Tell him we are on the way
Cute Girl – You going out is it?
Me – Yup. Sorry, I been busy with work and all and yes am going off
Cute Girl – Can I have your number?
Me – Nope
Cute Girl – Don’t like that-lah
Me – Nope
Cute Girl – I give you my number?
Me – Why? I don’t need 4D number
Cute Girl - *laughslikeitsthegreatestdamnjokeioftheday*
Me – You been drinking too much?
Cute Girl – You so farny-lah
Me – You definitely been drinking too much
Cute Girl – *givesulkylook* Give me your number-lah. Please?
Neil – Give her your number Dude
Me – What the fuck for?
Neil – No harm *smilingagainlikeanidiot*
Me - *takeswalletout* hands business card out to her
Cute Girl – Wah. Thank You. I give you my number?
Me – Never mind. You can sms to me ok?
Cute Girl – So you call me ok?
Me – Nope. You call me.
Cute Girl - *smilessweetly*
Me – Make sure you are in bed naked and horny when you call
Nick - *laughsandshakeshishead*
Cute Girl - *surprisedlook* You so farny-lah
Me – And call me late. I like phone sex
Cute Girl - *giggleslikeaschoolgirlsonheat*
Me - *shakeshandofcutegirl* Thanks for the chat
Cute Girl - *sweetsmile*
Neil – *atfrontdoor* Dude. Did you have to give her your card?
Me – So?
Neil - *adjusts his shoes* I mean even office number also?
Me – *walkingtowardscar* So?
Neil – I mean you not worried she call your office?
Me – So?
Neil – Cool-lah you Dude. She like damn syiok you.
Me – *openingcardoor* So?
Neil – I mean what if she like gila then stalks you?
Me – Not worried
Neil – Aisayman… true or not you so cool?
Me – Guarantee she will not call me
Neil – Why? You going to ignore her is it?
Me – Nope
Neil – Then how then when she call?
Me – She won’t
Neil – Damn-lah you so confident
Me – Why you so susah hati?
Neil - *pokingincarkey* How you know she won’t call?
Me – Because only God knows whose business card I gave her
Neil – What!? Whose card you give!?
Me – Fucked if I’d remember? Picked the first one from my wallet.
Neil - *burstsoutlaughing* You damn farny-lar *startscar*
Me – *wavesbacktocutegirlascarreverseout* Where did I hear that before?


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