------- waddafak: Ball Warmers

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Ball Warmers

Many times have I been sitting back in a chair, in such a posture that my butt cheeks are scrunched together and the only way out for a fart is to go straight down and come out the very bottom of my butt cheeks, right where my nuts are resting. And if the fart is powerful, it tries to force its way past the nuts, which are quite painfully blown aside and involves a little tickling sensation as sometimes the hot air runs between the nuts and upper thighs. This really sucks. There are few things more pathetic than sitting around, farting, and having a good chuckle from your nuts being smacked around.

Thus I am concerned about the adverse effects of gas on my nuts and repercussions to my offspring. Sitting at my desk most days, I tend to sneak out a few here or there. Even though I do get up and *walk-off* the most offensive ones, I am frequently too busy to get up, and forced to stay put as the warmth lingers. Should I fear this strange warmth? You know, it's just a concern for us men and those people of the child bearing inclination type.

Most of us guys were probably born with a set of nuts. Now, the scrotum's function is to moderate the temperature of the testicles right? Our testicles are supposed to be a couple of degrees cooler than the rest of your body, not 98.6, but about 4 or 5 degrees cooler than that I think? That supposes to help the production and the health of our sperm. Now the way this is supposed to work is when your body gets cold, what happens is the scrotum contracts pulling your nuts closer to your body to make for maximum warmth. In a situation where you're not cold, where you're warm....let's say on a hot Saturday afternoon in a kopitiam because there's nothing else to do and you're bored out of your mind, so you're sitting there watching the world go by and it feels like your nuts are on the floor. Because it's so warm what happens is the scrotum let's them nuts out....let's it all hang out. It wants to try to cool them off.

So, we figured out the purpose of the scrotum. Now, what's gonna happen when you let out one of our "ball warmers"?, is that as our nuts (you know, saying that word always puts a smile on my face....some guy, hundreds of years ago, or maybe thousands....looked at his testicles and said, "You know, I think we should call these nuts." and from then on, everybody knows what you're talking about. If you say "nuts", they know what you're talking about......I don't know how that started). So the point is that the scrotum will take care of your nuts. When you lay a "ball warmer", or you're "roasting your nuts", or whatever you want to call it, what's going to happen is the scrotum's going to let loose, it's going to drop your balls a little bit, maybe down the pants of your leg....keeping them nice and cool. It shouldn't have any impact on our future kids you think?

But this is a good question for myself and I wanted to answer it appropriately so that I can feel more comfortable about the situation. The fact that the scrotum prevents these "ball warmers" from having reproductive implications, that doesn't mean that we shouldn't get up and walk off a good fart every once in a while. First of all, the exercise will do you damn good. Second of all, it helps "spread the wealth". Walk that fart around the office like it's on a leash. Stop in your boss’s office, stop by your office mates, say ‘Hello!’ to everybody just so to keep them on their toes....

Streamyx Sucks